The BIGGEST LIE they tell you about self-confidence
First, we have to tackle the number one lie regarding self-confidence and that’s the idea that when people have their self-confidence too high they become cocky, narcissistic or simply stupid.
The truth is that all of these behaviors are actually based on low self-esteem and are masked as high self-confidence, like in first grade when boys and girls used to bug each other because they secretly liked each other.
It’s the same thing. Sort of…
People with high self-confidence can take criticism in a mature manner, know they can help someone without getting anything in return if they choose to, and are generally less stressed, more happy, and way more successful.
Building someone’s self-esteem is like exercise, if you work at it, it will improve, if you don’t it will be slowly or sometimes rapidly reduced.
So exercise number one that you can do to increase your self-confidence is to invest in yourself! And I don’t only mean it in a material way, although it can surely be part of it.
Invest the time required for your physical and mental health, do the effort to advance your personal goals, be it at work or at home.
Think about yourself as you would think about someone you just started dating and you really wanna show them you care about them! Most people tend to get a little crazy in the beginning so get a little crazy about you!
Exercise number two is learning to say “NO!” to people, to opportunities, to invitations, and to money, lean-to says “YES!” to things you want to do, that will make you feel amazing and that you know are right for you in the long term.
Saying no to opportunities is always hard, and our generation is the FOMO generation so we hate saying no even more than ever – we always have the thought of what we could have missed if we said YES!
And saying no to people never feels good at the moment, but when you say yes when you mean no, you know there will be a price to pay in the longer term. We don’t want to make others upset with us or feel bad so we make ourselves feel bad instead.
Would you drop someone else’s discomfort on someone you truly like? Why do you do it to yourself then?
Exercise number three is throw away all the shit you don’t like, so unless you will be cold and miserable without it throw away the jacket you never wear because you hate how it looks on you, get rid of the things that just create a mess in your place with no purpose.
You deserve to own the stuff you bought and like, that’s true. But you also deserve to get rid of all the stuff you don’t! People keep so much stuff just because they bought it or paid for it. Getting rid of it keeps your mind focused on the stuff you do like, it will make you feel better and giving up the idea that you MUST keep stuff or that you did WRONG by getting them will over time boost your self-confidence
Exercise number four is compliment (authentically) other people whether you like them or not. Practicing the art of looking at other people in a positive way even when you dislike the, will help you see more of the positive side… you guessed it! You!
Actually giving the compliments will not only make sure you look for this positive side it also makes you practice generosity, being generous especially towards people you dislike and especially when expecting nothing in return – creates a deep feeling of strength on which your self-confidence will skyrocket!
Of course, you should also compliment people you do like because you know, it’s a nice thing to do.
Exercise number five is to develop positive habits! When you create even the tiniest positive habit and it actually sticks -> it feels amazing! And you immediately think more of yourself (it’s true)
You can start with anything you want, and I did create a video a few weeks ago about creating a morning routine and making sure it sticks, I believe it’s a great place to start, it will be listed and linked in the description and the link is also up here!
You can start by adding a habit of reading, exercising, meditation, drinking water, eating a healthy breakfast or anything else you want.
Start small preferably with 1 thing and add on that!
Exercise number six is keeping expanding your mind, keep learning to keep on allowing you this brain of yours to grow!
Metaphorically, if it grows physically and you are older than say 14 you should probably see a doctor.
I personally LOVE e-courses, I take so many of them, I listen to them when I’m in the gym while driving to the office and sometimes just sitting and learning!
But I also believe that every once in a while you should go to a live event, I myself make sure to attend at least a few every year.
A good place to start is subscribing to my YouTube channel and reading on this website! Simply click the subscribe button right next to the video and you will get more ideas regarding productivity, leadership, and purpose to your youtube feed!