this 3 step process will definitely help you influence people in an entirely new level, helping people push through their own objections and doing a lot more than they thought they will.
This is ofcourse a priceless ability if you are an entrepreneur, because it will allow you to make more sales, get better deals, and motivate your team to reach new heights.
But it’s also a very valuable skill to have for anyone actually, if you are a parent and you want to influence your kids, if you want to advance in your career, get a discount or better service when you are buying something – or just with your friends and family members.
Love, money and empathy are just 3 things on the list of things you can only get from other people.
When I was a kid and even to my teenage years I was extremely shy and insecure, I believed I will forever work in front of a computer and never get promoted to manage people or go on a date.
So talking to people, let alone influencing them is something I had to learn from scratch, including the basics that other people, which are more talented in these sort of things – like my wife, or the CMO in my company for example, might find obvious.
So when I decided Im going to start my own business I had to create an easy way to to Copy & Paste influence people over and over again – and at the same time it had to be 100% authentic because, I certainly didn’t want to fake it all day long – I wanted to feel at ease and also I wanted to know that I influence people for the better.
So what are the 3 steps?
Step number 1 is finding something the person really wants. Only after you find a strong motivation the person has you can go to step 2 and ask the POWER QUESTION that will do 95% of the work for you.
The focus here is that it’s not necessarily what they say they want, you want to look for things they act out in real life. For example someone who says he really wants to be more healthy – but never exercises, eats a lot of junk food and procrastinates his doctor appointments might really do want to be healthy – but he has an even stronger motivation.
He must want something more than being healthy, something that makes him stay at home instead of exercising, ordering food instead of cooking and scheduling work meetings on the times scheduled for the doctor.
You can find out what someone really wants in different ways, and I like to divide it between 2 types of people.
The people that are close to you, be it team mates, family members or friends.
These people you must know very well and you should ask yourself – what motivations make them act in the way they do – what excites them, what frightens them etc.
Once you figured it out you have this step done with this person practically forever, or at least until something dramatically changes in his life.
I know what are the most important things for every one in my close family, every one of the managers in my companies as well as most key employees. In addition I know the generalised motivations of the different types of customers in every company I own.
This is why I Spend time, make my managers spend time and advise you in the videos to spend time with your customers even if you are the CEO of a huge company – in order to connect to the motivations of the end consumer.
The second type of people are people which you have a 1 time conversation with, and the most classic example is a sales call, but it’s also true for the first time you meet a new friend or colleague.
With these people it’s extremely important that you find out the motivations as fast as possible since they are what will allow you to go to step number 2 and ask the POWER Question that will do 95% of the work for you.
The way I like doing it is by talking about unrelated things, for example, before a business meetings after getting the coffee served ill ask a person about his life usually the things people care the most about are the things they would love talking about.
The question “what do you love about that?” is an amazing question to quickly find a deep motivation of a person.
Say someone tells you he just got back from a trip to Europe, asking her “What did you love about it?” will instantly direct her to her motivations.
If for example the answer is: “the buildings were beautiful, it makes you feel like you are in a movie” – you can instantly know that this person appreciates design and asthetics as well as she might be a dreamer.
Of course instantly transitioning to a sell telling the person that your product is also beautiful and would help her to momentarily disconnect from the world and feeling in a different world, would break trust. But transitioning officialy to business and using this info later is extremely powerful.
So now that we know about the deep motivation, we can go ahead to step 2
Step 2, is about connecting your product, service or the action you want to influence the other person to take to that motivation.
There are many ways to to that, like story telling, using Vision Enhancing words and tonality, and many others which will be covered in other videos – so if you havnt already go a head and subscribe to the channel and click that bell so that you will not miss anything.
In todays video Im going to give you my favorite and easiest way to do that – which is the POWER QUESTION.
Its extremely simple but also extremely powerful – you ask the person HOW doing that thing or buying the product or service will help him get what he wants.
This way you make sure the explanation and the connection between the motivation and the product makes sense for that specific person – because they are creating it.
The pattern will be:
“HOW WILL X HELP YOU GET Y”
When X is what you want them to do and Y is one or more of their top motivations.
Instead of trying to explain that you product is like its in the movies you ask
“HOW WILL BUYING THIS NEW PRODUCT HELP YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE IN A MOVIE?”
“HOW WILL HIRING ME WILL HELP YOU SAVE TIME?”
“HOW WILL TAKING THAT PATH WILL HELP YOU FEEL MORE FULFILLED?”
And so on
“HOW WILL X HELP YOU GET Y”
STEP 3 is my favorite.
You simply wait quietly and nod as they persuade themselves.