Maybe it’s the amount of money you currently have in the bank or lack of, maybe it’s your parents, partner or children, maybe it’s your boss, your job, your friends or your health…
Maybe you want to grow your business, create a social change or create an amazing project.
If you have a problem that sticks – this post will make you think and at the end of this video I’ll share an exercise you can do to find Beyond better solutions.
So what is it that’s in common for all the annoying problems that are so hard to solve and always seem to be coming back?
see, we as humans face hundreds of little problems daily, and the more we take on ourselves the more problems we face. The thing is that every one of us is so amazingly clever and awesome and we actually do solve most of them so fast we don’t even notice or have time to complain.
But today we are talking about these annoying persistent problems, like this weight which doesn’t want to get lost, like this relative who insists on being unbearable or this problem with your co-workers or clients who simply doesn’t get it, or that sum of money who simply always tend to disappear or simply doesn’t want to be made (by you obviously, by you…)
So how come an amazing problem solver like yourself, seem to get stuck with the same annoying problem over and over again?
Well the answer might come up as strange in the beginning, but trust me, I’ve worked with hundreds of people one on one and lead seminars with thousands of people over the years, so at least hear me out, check it out for yourself, and then decide – but look deeply and authentically – otherwise you will miss out!
So the root problem that makes other problems stick is a lack of accuracy when diagnosing the problem. That leads to a logically flawless but still totally wrong solution.
I do believe that you are, like most people extremely effective at solving problems, but one of the skills that will determine your success and happiness in life is the ability to accurately identify the problem that needs to be solved.
For example, when I work with salespeople and entrepreneurs they almost always want to learn the same thing, “how to handle objections?” what should I say when someone tells me its too expensive or that he needs to think about it.
See they usually believe that what’s missing in their sales conversation is their ability to answer objections – which, if you are an expert in communication and you actually listen to calls – you know it’s almost never the real problem.
Another example is from the time before I met my wife, I could walk down the street or simply live my life and meet new people and go on dates. some of my friends and people who went to my seminars back then would ask me “what do I say to get the conversation going?” like assuming that their problem meeting people was that they did not know some secret technique or something…
Of course, it’s not the real problem, and whenever I would tell them the truth, about how to conversation went (you know like 2 normal people talking) they would feel cheated like they expected something different.
It’s also true in business most people think that the main problem their small business is not growing is because of lack of budget or lack of selling ability, and some businesses are stuck because of these exact problems – the thing is that when a business owner identifies the true problem in his business it’s almost immediately fixed – and I’ve seen it over and over again.
And with maintaining a healthy body – don’t get me started, yeah obviously people have different genes, gender, age Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla -> but at the end of the day, if you would eat less and move more – you will lose weight the problem is people are looking for complex problems that cannot be solved.
And this is the key to all these examples and any other problem that comes to your mind.
If what you think is the problem would really be the problem – I trust you and you should trust you that you would have fixed it already!
Of course, I’m talking about persistent problems, if it’s something that showed up just a couple of days ago and you think you know the solution – amazing go for it.
The key is to try to look deeper or simply from a different perspective.
And very soon ill give you a simple exercise that you can use on a problem that you might have to find a better way to look at it and solve it!
For example, many times salespeople simply don’t create enough trust with the client so when he has a true issue with the offer he will not share it with them and simply say “I should think about it!”
Regarding dating If you are coming to an interaction with someone where you want to “get” something from them, of course, you will be stressed and the conversation will be awkward no matter what lines you’ll try to learn.
If you as a business owner do not believe in your product or that there is simply no real market for it – you will struggle.
These are just examples of course and I’m not saying these are the “real” issues for everybody – they are however common examples that I’ve seen over and over again over the years.
You should find yours.
How can you do it?
One tool I often use for myself and when I work with people is a 5 questions exercise, it might take a few minutes to answer but its totally worth it. If you don’t have the time right now simply write them down, or save this video to watch later, share it with a friend and schedule to do it together, put a reminder on your phone – do something to make sure you do it.
I’ll put a link to the pdf with the 5 questions in the description, but ill tell you what they are so you can write them down if you prefer to do it yourself.
- What is the real problem
- What are the things around me that might create the problem?
- What are my actions that might create a problem?
- What emotions do I feel that might create the problem?
- What are my thoughts or beliefs I might have that might create the problem?
And there are another 5 questions for finding the solutions:
- What can I change in my surroundings that will make the problem easy to solve?
- What actions can I take that will make the problem easy to solve?
- What skills can I develop that will make this problem easy to solve?
- What kind of thought or beliefs i could have that would make this problem easy to solve?
- For who this problem is easy to solve and what can i learn from them?
You don’t actually have to answer all the questions but by simply giving some time to each of them you will find the easy way to solve your problem.